In summary, after 30+ years of denial I realized that I’m bisexual.
I told my closest friends. They were cool. I came out on a small LGBT+ friendly community I was already part of. They were thrilled, and after an hour we were already back to discussing Magic the Gathering and what a sack of shit JK Rowling is. I have NOT told my wife. She asked for a divorce in January after years of treating me like shit, cheating etc… but we’re stuck living together (finances), and everyone close to me who knows her, my situation said DON’T TELL HER!
With hindsight I realize how much I was actively holding down my queerness. How I act, how I talk, how I interact. Trying to appear “normal”. I was in a chat room in early June and was flirting with someone. For the first time I had no care as to how they identified! As it was it turned out to be a woman. I was actually disappointed!
The other day on my adult Twitter I took a pic just showing my bulge in my underwear. As brave as I’m willing to get publicly. Hoped for a few likes. Couple of cross dressing guys liked it. Cool! The big one though was a guy who said how much he loved it. He then told me he was going to masturbate to it later! I thought that was it. Only for him to slide into my DM’s, tell me he was doing it right now, complete with pictures and video! Given my reaction, oh yes, I’m very queer!
I’ve come to terms and accepted all this fairly easily. The guilt and shame lingered for a while but that’s gone, replaced with a sense of well-being and happiness at finally realizing who I am. Who I always was. In reality I’m demisexual. As much as I’d love to go out and be with a guy right now, and I SO DO, casual sex is impossible for me without feeling a connection. However, online I am apparently a complete slut! I’m very happy about this fact! As I tweeted the other day, it’s only being free now I’ve discovered I’m way kinkier than I ever realized!
My one bit of shyness is about my penis. After an illness ten years ago ravaged my body, almost killing me, I’m on heavy medication for blood pressure which is lethally high without it. (Unmedicated it hits “How are you not dead?!” territory.) This has a horrible effect on my penis. I’m okay getting hard, but it doesn’t get anywhere near as big as it used to which makes me very self conscious. Especially when looking at a lot of other penises lately, of which some could double as baseball bats! I’d love to share pics but I’m scared of the reaction and feel inadequate, despite the fact that prior to the illness my penis was one of the few body parts of mine I actually liked!
Come follow and possibly flirt with me on my adult Twitter I mentioned above. I spend my time posting my innermost thoughts on sex, how it feels being newly bisexual and general stuff I’d never post on my regular Twitter. Oh yeah, and I flirt with everyone. And I mean EVERYONE!
Love you all! And I do mean ALL!